If you are an avid reader of this blog (which you should be or else you can just keep moving), you know that I am no stranger to dental work as of this past year due to my years of paralyzing fear of the dentist. I had a billion cavities filled, a root canal, and a crown put on, and I even give myself injections in my gums just for funsies now because I enjoy the pinching/pricking sensation. So my teeth are all patched up and I don't have to deal with the annoying dull ache that my root canal tooth loved to sporadically ignite, however, my second love, Willy Wonka and his manna from heaven, a.k.a. Gobstoppers, have decided that they would like to undo all of the drilling, filling, spraying, and polishing that my cute little molars have had to undergo. Ok, I exaggerate a little. My fillings are still in tact but my fine looking #14 molar took a beating from a hard-as-rock Gobstopper sometime this past week. The lateral posterior part of my toofie has this jagged spur that is driving me absolutely crazy, courtesy of Mr. Wonka himself. It's kind of like when you lose a tooth, how your tongue can't help but gravitate over to the gaping hole and play with it for hours and hours. It's the same with the jagged unconquerable K-2 in my mouth, I am always slicing away at my tongue with it and I can even manage to knick the inside of my cheek pretty well if I concentrate hard while biting down. I'm sure I look just lovely in class when I have a concentrated look on my face, and everyone can only see the side of my tongue as I am determined to slowly file down my tooth with my squishy tongue. If the filing it down with my glossus muscles fails, then I am going to stick a fingernail file in my mouth and see if I can't get results from that approach. If that fails and I manage to impale myself with the file and die, look for Dean in the Davenport Public Library System. He's informed me that he'll be living there rent free and sleeping in the bathrooms if I should pass on from this life. Make sure he has a shower at least once a week, and that he finishes his education at Palmer. Then he can go anywhere in the world and live in any library he chooses.
7 comments:
I have a CRAZY idea. Maybe you could, you know, go to the dentist and get your tooth checked out.
[/just sayin']
:)
Oh, and CRAZY IDEA #2: stop biting gobstoppers.
Or crazy idea #3: I could bash the tooth out of your head with an actual gobstopper, which would knock you unconscious, thus leaving us with an amazing lawsuit to file as well as a non-jaggeddy toothed mouth. I'm just sayin' it's an awesome idea...besides the fact that you would have to be knocked unconscious by a gobstopper.
I totally understand your fear of dentists. I finally went to the dentist this year after 5 years of non-dentistry. And it wasn't as bad as I thought (2 cavities) but I was soooo nervous. More nervous than I was before giving birth. That is pretty irrational, but maybe because when I give birth I come out with a baby, but when I go to the dentist, I come out with a numb, sore mouth.
OK. so stop biting gobstoppers. & Why would Dean WANT to live at the Library? I won't even mention that he can't. Like literally, he couldn't do it. I think if he is away from you for more than 12 hours, he turns into a pumpkin or something! But hey, if he wants to try...well, come hang out over here! :)
Girl, you are HILARIOUS! And yeah, maybe you should go get your tooth checked out. I had a similar thing happen and I went to the dentist and got it filed down and it really didn't cost all that much.
Hehehehehehheee...you make me laugh! Thanks for the smiles...
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