I started clinic 2 weeks ago at school which just means I can massage the general public a.k.a. people who schedule appointments with me. I've had some pretty interesting clients already, but today it was the silent fella who weirded me out the most and I'm pretty sure will forever take the cake...
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I go out into the waiting room and greet my client who was a very nice man, do a health history, ask and answer questions, and then I take him back to the room when I am going to do his massage. Tell him the usual spiel about dressing down to his comfort level, get under the sheets before I come in (yup, I've had a guy who was laying on top of the sheets when I came in), and put his clothes over here, ask him what kind of pressure he prefers, blah blah blah and etc. I step out of the room and putz around for a couple of minutes to make sure he has enough time to get undressed and situated, and then come back just outside of the room and ask him if he's ready. He is. I come in and he's laying there on his back on the massage table watching me while I get everything ready, and I make sure he is comfortable.
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Then the most awkward/uncomfortable/funny/reminiscent hour of my life starts.
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I start doing the massage, and just like 99% of the population, he closes his eyes to enjoy the tranquility and the human touch. ONLY WHEN HE CLOSES HIS EYES, HE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE MY DECEASED GRANDPA DAVIS! And I'm not talking about my Grandpa Davis out in the garden or sitting on the couch because that would have been fine, I'm talking exactly like my Grandpa Davis in his coffin. For some strange reason my mom took a picture of my Grandpa Davis in his coffin at the funeral, and I have it somewhere in my picture box plus I remember what he looked like laying there, and this gentleman I was massaging was my grandpa in the flesh. I felt like I was massaging a corpse because everything told me that this was my grandpa and I know my grandpa has been gone for 18 years but here he was right in front of me exactly how he looked in his coffin. Now don't tell me that wouldn't be one awkward massage. It was like a trainwreck, I wanted to look away but I couldn't. Of course I love my Grandpa Davis and have nothing but admiration for him and it's great to be reminded of him, just don't do it during a massage.
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But hey, at least he left me a tip. Keep 'em comin gramps.
5 comments:
Phew, I thought you were going to say something else. I thought I was going to read a blog about a dirty man who came in and got a little too happy during the massage and "pitched a tent" if ya know what I mean?? Ewww. Well, that would be a bit weird...and creepy. You'll have to save up all your weird, creepy, entertaining stories and tell me them when we talk on the phone. I've heard of people doing some crazy stuff. The first time someone moans during the massage, you let me know so I can laugh hysterically with you.
yikes! good work for sticking with it!
Warped! Why on this green earth would you think of that?
I too thought you were going into the "pitching a tent" story! & YES, when you get the moaner, I want to laugh with you and Ashleigh!
Now if you can combine a moaner with a boner, it will be my top story to tell FOREVER!!!
hahahaha! I'm laughing at everones' comments too. That must have beeen strange! Good for you Shell...way to survive!
How crazy! I don't know what I would do under those circumstances! By the way, I love your collage. You guys are so cute. How is Davenport? Is it as cold ad I remember?
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