Today was good...

Today was a good day. Nothing spectacular happened, but it was just a feel good day. We got up. Eventually showered (I'll die right along with Dean the day that I actually take a shower more than 30 minutes before church and don't go to church with wet hair pulled back). Went to church. Heard wonderful talks in sacrament that made us want to be better people. Dean taught a wonderful lesson about Alma and Amulek in Gospel Doctrine. I taught Young Women's and even though there were only 2 girls there today, it was an awesome non-stop participation lesson and we had so much fun. We went outside and sat on a blanket on the grass and enjoyed the sunny breeze and the girls had the best questions I've ever heard them pose in class. We even had to ask some members of our ward afterwards what the answer to a question was that I wasn't sure on so we all learned something. I love teaching lessons where the girls are genuinely involved and interested and are firing questions left and right like they were. Then Dean and I chitty chatted with friends for over an hour after church in the chapel, and then when I felt like my stomach was going to eat my intestines, it said it was time to go home and eat. So Dean made some delicious enchiladas and I had to eat other stuff while he was cooking to keep me from getting super sick because I had gone way too long without eating. But the enchiladas he made were delish! Then we just slugged around and watched the women's olympic gymnastic team trials on tv and read. And that has pretty much consisted of our day. It's been a good one. Now it's time to go to bed.

Beautiful sound...

Dean and I had our 3rd OB appt today, and we got to hear our little peanut's heartbeat for the first time and it was absolutely the most beautiful sound in the world!!! Its heart is beating at a normal and strong 160 beats per minute like it should be. It took the midwife a little bit of searching with the Doppler to find it and I got nervous for a few seconds because it seemed like it was taking longer than I thought it would, but as soon as she found it and we started hearing those beautiful "lub-dubs", I, of course, started tearing up and immediatly craned my neck so I could see Dean since I was laying down and smiled at him. He will even admit that he teared up a little too. So all is well with our peanut and we pray everyday that everything will continue to go just fine and we can welcome a happy and healthy peanut into our family by Jan 6th. We feel so blessed by Heavenly Father, and also feel so blessed that I have been feeling tons better. Some days are still hard but I feel like I am over the worst of the all day sickness and it's bearable now. I am sleeping at night and I have a selective appetite which is a lot better than when I had no appetite. Dean has been the most amazing husband and support through this and has taken phenomenal care of me when I haven't been able to function. He is my life.

Oh, and...

I PASSED BOARDS!!! Hallelujah!!! Now it's just another paperwork process of getting my state license and then it's time to be massagie-chelle.

Let me tell you about THAT week...

Despite having one of the absolute WORST weeks ever imaginable, 1 good thing did come out of it, we got our very first picture of our little peanut. The head is on the left hand side and then the rest of the cute little body is on the right. The little round hollow circle is the yolk sac. Thankfully baby is doing just fine and is measuring right on track. It's 1 inch long and I got to see the heartbeat which was an amazing experience. Now the story for WHY I got to see the heartbeat... As most people know, I have been having crazy morning and all day sickness. I want to push people who say that 'you're not really sick unless you're throwing up' out a 5th story window because that is so not true. Most days from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed I am crazy weak, my upper stomach is distended and bloated and uncomfortable, I have to force myself to eat, and I am nauseous, just to name a couple of symptoms. This past week was particularly hard in the sense that I gagged on almost everything that went into my mouth, water included, and I was not able to sleep at all. I had gone for about a week on 2 hours of sleep per night because my brain was in rapid fire mode and I could not get it to shut off no matter what I tried. So almost no sleep coupled with little food equals 5 pounds of weight loss in 5 days and my body feeling like it is shutting down. Seriously, this past Friday after my 2 seconds of sleep I felt like my body was shutting down and that if something didn't end up changing quick, I was going to end up in the hospital soon. I called my doctor's office and they had me come in at 10:30 to check me out and see if the baby was ok. Sadly, Dean couldn't be there because he was taking his first final at that time and professors don't let you retake finals to save your life so I dropped him off at school and made the trek to the dr's by myself. They did an ultrasound to see if baby was still thriving and thankfully it still is and the heartbeat is a strong 160 beats per minute. Despite feeling like I was going to die right there on the table, it was still an absolutely amazing experience to get to see our little peanut for the first time and to see its heart beating. I would have given anything for Dean to be right there to experience that same joy with me. My midwife said I have a worse than average case of morning sickness and she gave me some pills to help me sleep and said to try that first and then if I don't actually get some sleep that night to call and they'll try another avenue. Later in the afternoon we went to a new chiropractor that was highly recommended pregnancy and his adjustment was wonderful. Thankfully I actually slept that night and Dean literally sat vigil by my bedside until 2AM to make sure I was sleeping because he was so worried about baby and me. He gave me 2 wonderful blessings that I believe made all the difference and I am eternally grateful for him and his priesthood. We were both praying so hard this last week for comfort and rest to come to me so that I can be healthy and so our peanut can thrive and we feel like our prayers were answered on Friday night. It's not to say that each day isn't difficult and a struggle, but Friday was one for the books and as long as I don't have another repeat of that day, I think I'll make it. Pregnancy is a lot harder than I thought it would be but I know one day it will all be worth it when they lay that slimy and goopy baby on my stomach and together we get to see our little miracle.

Slackin sickie chelle...

(Warning: a rarely-seen pessimistic side of chelle will be seen here. Read with caution.)

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Wow. I can't believe I haven't blogged in over 3 weeks! That must be a new slackin record. But in my defense, I have felt like absolute garbage for the past 3 weeks and when I feel like crud I get really really cynical and pessimistic and I probably would have just ranted and raved on a post about any and everything that annoys me. So I'll only do a little bit of that right now. =)

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I'm not even gonna lie. I'm not enjoying this whole pregnancy thing as much as I thought I would. Growing up I pictured being pregnant as this glorious and edifying experience for all 9 months but I've honestly only felt that for a couple of days sporadically. Most days that elated feeling is overshadowed by everything from nausea to bloating to food aversions to wicked uterine ligaments cramping and stretching so it makes it kind of hard to see the good over the bad. I was crying to Dean a couple of days ago because I felt bad that I wasn't reveling in this little miracle that we created and didn't know how I was going to survive the next 7 months and I felt like a bad mommy-to-be because no one ever talks about how sucky things are at first so I didn't know if what I was feeling was normal. My wonderful friend Hannah in Vancouver, WA is also pregnant, she's due 8 days after I am and it's been so therapeutic to talk to her on the phone a lot and share stories of what we're going thru and what our fears and frustrations are because dang, this is some scary life changing stuff we've got going on. We're both bloaty, sleepy, hormonal emotional wrecks but at least we've bloaty, sleepy, hormonal emotional wrecks together. Everyone keeps telling us that it'll get better in a couple of weeks to a couple of months but that's hard to comprehend when 1 day feels like a billion hours. Seriously, some days are so bad that I wish I could be induced into a coma and not wake up until it's time to start pushing the baby out. I hate most foods, which that in itself is depressing since I've loved food all my life, and I am to the point that I am about to just live on cereal for the next 7 months because it's the only thing I consistently like and the smell doesn't nauseate me. Bring on the Life, Kix, Cheerios, and Rice Krispies bay-bee!!! But then I always have this nagging in the back of my brain that tells me I need to get enough daily protein and if I don't our baby is going to have some developmental delays and it'll be all my fault. I asked my midwife about it and she just smiled and essentially said don't lose sleep over it and that the baby will get what it needs no matter what. She said that as long as I take my prenatal vitamins and my Omega 3's and try to get some protein in but don't lose sleep over not getting the recommended 75 grams of protein per day, I am good to go.

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Don't get me wrong though, Dean and I are very very excited to be having a baby that we so desperately wanted and prayed for, and I sometimes feel bad for griping about my discomforts and fears, but then I remember that I am human and I am entitled to gripe and don't have to tell everyone that "I'm doing awesome and I've never been better" when they ask me how I'm feeling. This part of pregnancy is not fun at all, and I don't know how or why women choose to go through this process time and time again but I'm sure I'll fall into that reproducing category myself when we want peanut #2, thank you very much Oxytocin.

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That is my gripe. That is all. I'll now take a bow and exit stage left.