I said UNDER...

So I'm at work the other day (for those of you who don't know, I'm a massage therapist), and it turns out I have a detox to do which are actually pretty rare because they cost so much and people normally just like a good old fashioned rub down with no frills, but this young lady wanted the full meal deal which includes an exfoliation, mud wrap, and then a 20 minute massage at the end. They aren't my favorite thing to do because I prefer to dig in there and manipulate the muscles and give people the "hurt so good" feeling which means what I'm doing is working, but I'll do a detox because I get compensated very well for it and who doesn't love a little extra moolah!?

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Anyways, so I take this young lady back to the room where we'll be doing the detox, and I explain to her what we'll be doing, and I answered any questions she had. Then I tell her that I'll step out and while I'm out of the room she'll need to get completely undressed and then lay face down under the sheets and I would be back in a minute and ask her through the curtain if she's ready. Simple enough, right? I step out, go wash my hands, and I'm walking by the room when I hear, "I'm ready." Ok, that was quick. So I open the curtains enough so that I can step in and when I look up she is standing there next to the massage table, as naked as the day she was born, with one arm across her chest in a feeble attempt to cover up her breasts, and her other hand was barely trying to cover up her crotch. Look up The Birth Of Venus painting online to see what she looked like because that was the first thing that came to my mind. So I immediately divert my eyes to the floor and back up through the curtains into the hallway and in the micro second it takes me to do that she asks, "What am I supposed to do?" I reiterate to her through the curtains to "Lay down on the table UNDER the sheets, and to let me know when you're all situated," but apparently when she heard it the first time it sounded like "Get completely undressed and stand there naked while barely covering up your womanly bits and then have your massage therapist come in while still standing there."

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That's just another one to add to my growing list of massage clients that natural selection somehow overlooked. Oh well, at least she left a good tip and we all know that's all that really matters. =)